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“You don't stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing.” 
― George Bernard Shaw

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Writing a Loved Ones Story

3/4/2015

11 Comments

 
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Her name is Dahlas. She is one of the most extraordinary people I have ever known in my life and I am blessed to call her Mom. As you would hear her tell it, she feels she has never really did anything grand in her life, but little does she know that her sweet, loving, meek spirit is the grandest of all accomplishments she has shared in this life. She gave them all effortlessly, endlessly and consistently.

Mom began writing her life story  a long while ago. I would gently guess a good 40 years ago.  At times she would pull out this pile of papers and give them a second look. Her dream was to leave a book about her life for my brother and me, and other family members. Mom being rather shy, never pushed the idea. Feeling less than confident, she would tuck the transcript away for another season.


"Who is going to want to read this anyway?" Mom would say time and again.

A couple years ago the subject came up again and I realized how important this was to my mom.  I looked at the papers once more and saw many pages filled with little side notes and words scratched out in red. It would take some serious deciphering to make heads or tails out of this 40 year old manuscript, but I knew I had to tell my mom's story.

The urge to transcribe my mom's story became very strong. It was like a little voice was telling me to do it now! I told my mom and dad that I was going to start working on mom's story. They were thrilled, but little did I know that something inside of me was about to change forever.

I opened the big brown envelope and saw the pages neatly put together with mom's rather messy handwriting. I am sure when she was writing her autobiography that she did not think anyone would see it but her. Surprisingly, I found where my eldest daughter had started to rewrite it neater, but had stopped in the middle, never finishing it. I remember a few years ago when my daughter took on this challenge, but marriage and babies took over, so once again this little bundle of papers was tucked away for a future time.

I began to type the first chapter and the story of my mother's miraculous birth began to play like a movie inside my head. Mommy was born a twin, weighing a little over a pound, but sadly her twin brother did not make it nor her beloved mother who died shortly after giving birth. My mom's father passed away a year later to bone cancer, leaving her and many sibling's without parents. The younger children were dispersed to family members. Some of the older children that were married took on a couple younger children to raise. My tears began to flow. How sad for an entire family, mere babies,  to lose their parents and to be separated as a family.

My mother was considered a special needs baby and could not live with her siblings, so she was taken in by a nurse and her husband, who cared for her the first six months of her life. When she was well enough to come home, her dad, my grandfather,  was too sick to care for her or the other children. Her father's sister took my mom and raised her as her own. They would become my grandparents that I so dearly loved.
I read about when my mom left my dad, taking my brother and me with her, and how hard that must have been back then. The stories were so hard to read, but at the same time, sweet and genuine, just like my mom.

It took me three days of typing and correcting until I had 12 chapters of wonderful dialog from my mom about her life and over 10,000 words. 


I took the transcript over to my parents' house where they read the first two chapters. I watched as my mom cried and could not speak. My dad held back his tears, as he too was so happy that my mom's story would be told. 


While it may never be a best seller, it is the story of one dear woman named Dahlas, our Georgia peach, and my mother.

I explained I was not done and I wanted them to go through it, making changes or adding anything they felt important. 


There was one story that I remembered which had to be added. It was when we named my mom's twin brother a few years ago, as he had never been given a proper name nor a gravestone where he was  buried. 

My mom’s brother had laid in an unmarked grave all these years. I remembered a few years ago sitting at the table with my mom and how she so desperately wanted to name her twin brother. 


We began to think of boy names. We came up with Nathaniel David. My father and my mom went back to Georgia and placed a gravestone on the unmarked grave of my mom’s twin. My mom could now find peace in her heart, knowing her twin brother had a name and a gravestone.

While these little details would not mean anything to anyone else, they were so important to my mom, so that is why this story had to be told.

We all laughed as mom and dad began to recall funny stories of when they first got married. I watched as they giggled out loud with each memory they recanted. I could see the love between them. I saw first hand what 50 years of marriage looked like. 



Sweet memories that they had forgotten were now calling them to remember once again. I was determined to catch each one and write them down.

I left their house with a great big smile and feeling quite satisfied. I did leave them with a big homework assignment. They must remember the good times and the bad, so that I could transpose their memories for ever in time.

I wanted to share my mom's story, as I know many of you also have a story to tell of a loved one. It is never too late to share a loved ones life. I promise it will forever change your life because sometimes parents do not share things openly or they forget. 



I found out precious tidbits I never knew about my parents and about me. Some questions were answered that I was afraid to ask before now. You do not have to be a writer to place memories to a page. It is something that will be passed down to the next generation.

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I learned how much I was loved and even more, the dad that adopted me and who raised me as his own, was far wiser than I had ever dreamed. While he had his faults and I had mine, he was a good man. Taking on a wife and two kids was not easy for a young soldier. I will forever love, admire, and respect my father.

I learned that my meek, sweet mother was probably the most courageous woman I will have ever met. I know now that meekness is not a sign of weakness but a sign of wisdom and strength.

By writing my mom's story, I can say that my life somehow came full circle, a legacy I will cherish forever.
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Let me introduce you to Dahlas, my sweet Georgia Peach
11 Comments
Shauna
3/4/2015 12:54:43 am

Kimmie, this is so touching. How awesome to be a part of writing your mom's memoir! There's so much our parents don't tell us about their lives as children or even young adults. They're so busy raising their own family that sometimes who they were before they became parents gets lost. I love that you've taken it upon yourself to finish what your mother started.

I understand completely how you feel about your dad. I experienced the same. My dad, fresh out of the Air Force, met my mom and married her. I was 7 or 8 and my brother was 3 or 4. Dad adopted us shortly after marrying Mom. He'd never been married before. How many men would do that? Well, now I know of two!

Beautiful post, Kimmie. You've touched my heart in a huge way.

Reply
Kim Thompson
3/4/2015 01:38:12 pm

Thank you Shauna.
We are truly blessed to have dads that were so wonderful and opened up their hearts to us. I do hope many will take the time to write their loved ones story.
Love and hugs
Kimmie

Reply
femmeflashpoint link
3/4/2015 01:36:48 am

Kimi,

Your mama has one of the most awesome names I've ever heard of.

She often shines through you and your work, so it's obvious that you're a woman who's been raised with some wonderful influences.

So happy to see this one back in place with your other work and way happy to see your new garden blooming all over again.

femme

Reply
Kim Thompson
3/4/2015 01:39:38 pm

Thank you Femme. My mom truly is a gem and I am so happy she is still living so I can still find out precious things about her. I am so happy to have my blog up and running thanks to you.
Much love,
Kimmie

Reply
Sunshine
3/4/2015 01:46:52 am

Awwwww! So awesome that you are writing your moms memoirs. I'm sure she's thrilled. My mom passed 13 years ago, I am storing her memories in my mind to one day write down and share...I'm not getting any younger, I need to get a move on it! :)

Reply
Kim Thompson
3/4/2015 01:40:46 pm

Dearest Linda,
I do hope you will write your mothers story. I felt the same way. I didnt want to forget and this was one way of capturing those memories. Thank you so much for coming by.
Hugs
Kimmie

Reply
Mike
3/4/2015 01:55:00 am

Hello Kimmie. What a wonderful story. You are proof of the love your Mother has in her heart. Great that you typed out that story for them and assigned them to fill out some details. What a treasure.

Reply
Kim Thompson
3/4/2015 01:41:54 pm

Hi Mike,
I am thinking I need to contact you soon if you will do the honors of publishing for me and editing. It would mean so much coming from you. Thank you always for your support and friendship.
Kimmie

Reply
Martie link
3/4/2015 05:50:21 am

Oh, Kimmie, what a wonderful privilege to write your beautiful mother's story - a story I would love to read. You are a beautiful, unique and adorable family :)

I am trying to convince my mother to write her story, but for some reason she refuses to remember the bad, and so sadly the good will accompany the bad to her grave and nobody will ever know how beautiful and strong she really was. Somehow we only realize this about others when we know what challenges they had met in their lives.

Fortunately I have my own memories - and all of it is written down in one or another form to be known by whomever wants to know it.

When will your mom's book be available on Amazon.com?

Reply
Kim Thompson
3/4/2015 01:45:30 pm

Dear Martie,
My mom too had a bit of trouble with remembering the bad and how much to put in words. She did pretty good though being very tactful and not going into much detail with the sorrowful times. She wanted more than anything to leave this earth giving something to my brother and I. I am so happy you have captured your mother in some of your glorious writing. It will be beautiful one thing when you look back.
Thank you so much for your sweet comment.
Love and hugs
Kimmie

Reply
Maria link
3/7/2015 11:10:34 pm

Dear Kimmie,

I cannot think of a better gift...this interactive and loving dialogue resulting in a book of treasures, memories and life lessons. How special that your Mom is an active part of this and your parents will get to hold this book in their hands...

...and selfishly, us as well. I love your comment to Mike and will look forward to hearing more as you proceed with this labor of love.

Have a peaceful day. Love and hugs, mar

Reply



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