I did however come up with a name for this sad state of affairs, even though to someone else it might sound totally ridiculous!
I called my lack of "want to" "care to" or "need to" (from a writers perspective) a temporary "melancholy block."
For me the symptoms came without warning. I was able to carry on with my daily tasks, but to this writer...it caused a paralysis of my pen.
One day I was going full speed ahead and suddenly my writing came to an abrupt stop.
The causes could have been a number of factors, but one stood out among the daily grinds of life. It was the removal of three, very profound inspirations, my precious grandbabies. My daughter, son in-law, and three of my grandchildren moved to another state this summer, due to the military. Suddenly, my world came crashing down. I had to be brave, and I had to put on a good front, but inside...I was falling apart. My life changed drastically. My little inspirations were no longer around to draw from.
The "melancholy block" began.
If not for Skyping and our daily phone calls, I truly think my heart would still be in a million pieces. I had to begin to find my new life, redefine who I was without them near me. This was not so easy. I missed them more than words could ever say.
The last couple days I actually began to find inspiration. It was if inspiration was gently calling my name.
I asked Inspiration."Where have you been ole friend?"
Inspiration sweetly answered. "I have been near you all along!"
I could not help but argue that fact. "Well I have not felt you nor seen you for months!"
"I beg to differ," Inspiration countered with a smile. "You see Kimmie, I have surrounded you with many lovely thoughts! You were just too busy being melancholy!"
It was then I knew I had made the right diagnosis and I began to open my eyes for the first time in months.
I received an email from my publisher and she shared that God's Playbook had made it to the Walmart Bookstore on line as well as the Christian Broadcast Network online bookstore, (CBN). This came as quite the surprise, as my brother and I had published this a couple years ago.
I then happened to see a shared Google post of a review of God's Playbook that was written by my dear friend Angelia from flashPress.weebly.com written a couple years ago. I remember thinking how Angelia had put so much heart into it.
I began to see flashes of shared posts on Facebook from Mike Friedman, who has shared my work endlessly through the years and helped publish many of my books. I could not forget dearest Maria Jordan, a fellow writer, who was and is forever sending me cards of encouragement in the mail. Sannel Larson, a wonderful illustrator and writer herself, who illustrated An Angel and a Pair of Shoes. I fondly remember my Bristish friend Ian, who co wrote The Magical Victrola in my early days of writing. He was the teacher in every way and taught me so much. I cannot forget the many other writer friends and family who have stuck by me through the years. They truly have been my inspirations!
While I thought God's Playbook laid dormant and forgotten, somehow...it resurfaced and was brought to life once more thanks to Laurus Publishing, who continued to promote it.
All these wonderful people were constant, never changing, and had been right there before my eyes. My heart began to feel lighter and I soon felt this "melancholy block" lift from my heart. For the first time in six months, I had the urge to pick up my pen and thus this blog post was born.
I realized that INSPIRATION comes from many sources. Some are right in front of us, if we only look a bit closer. It was a beautiful gift that inspriation came to visit me once more and just when I needed it. I truly believe inspiration will always find its way back to us in its own time.
While I still miss my grandbabies every day, I know that I have to keep searching for other inspirational avenues so that my pen can take flight once more.
I hope you will inspire someone today!
You never know...YOU may be their inspiration!